sharp_as_knives | Hannibal's house, Wednesday

Hannibal rolled down his sleeves and nodded at the table. Everything looked to be in order for his little dinner. He'd made a slight variation on steak and kidney pie, with Yorkshire puddings, horseradish potatoes, and roast winter vegetables. And, since Jono would likely be far too busy to visit on Christmas day (Winsol no doubt meant a security nightmare above what it already was), Christmas pudding, one week early. It had been sitting for around a month, which should have been long enough, anyway.

Hopefully it would be a welcome break from the excessive work Jono was no doubt putting himself through, and they would have a chance to talk and share music again.

He had no doubts of Jono showing up - he'd sent a beautifully calligraphed invitation.

[OOC: For the one mentioned, though I suppose if anyone wants to drop by beforehand, why not?]

Current Mood: mellow
Current Location: 22 Phoenix Place

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

sharp_as_knives

"You're giving me a cat, not an incurable disease," Hannibal said drolly. "I can tell the difference." You were getting a bit more beer for that, though he did back off on the overloading.

"Headache still?"

From:

furnaceface

//Headache forever,// Jono mumbled. //Or at least the foreseeable future. It hasn't really let up for months, now. But then, neither have I, really.//

Yes, he was aware what sort of idiot that made him.

//Haven't had a nosebleed yet today. I'll consider that progress.//

From:

sharp_as_knives

Hannibal sighed and gave Jono a look, then took a small jar out of his pocket. He opened it and dug out a bit of cream, then replaced Jono's fingers with his own.

From:

furnaceface

//I know, I know, I'm a bloody... stupid...// He closed his eyes and leaned his face into Hannibal's touch a little. //Stupid... son of a... what is that?//

It smelled... minty? And after a moment, it felt quite nice. Tingly. Hot and cold at the same time. Between the cream itself and Hannibal's hands, that was good.

From:

sharp_as_knives

"A topical pain reliever," Hannibal said. "Courtesy of both proven medicine and semi-proven herbs." He'd basically thrown everything at it to see what would stick. He moved his hands to the base of Jono's skull, then to his neck, then back up to his temples, working the cream in.

From:

furnaceface

//S'good,// Jono shared, in case, somehow, Hannibal hadn't been aware. //Sort of... it's sort of...//

Tingly, Jonothon. The word was tingly.

//Prickles. Prickles a bit.//

... Close enough.

From:

sharp_as_knives

"If it gets too prickly, let me know. It's supposed to soothe and allow for better blood flow, not burn your skin." Any more than it already was.

The cat finished his lamb and curled up on Hannibal's foot, washing himself.

From:

furnaceface

//Nono, s'a good prickly,// Jono decided, curling up a little closer, against Hannibal's hip. Between the cat and Jonothon, he probably wasn't going to be going anywhere any time soon. //Soothing. It is soothing. Your hands are nice, too...//

Big fan. Big fan, right here.

From:

sharp_as_knives

"So you've said." Allow Hannibal his moment of amusement, Jono, as the last time you'd said that, you'd been decidedly unrelaxed.

"So, Raven worries you the most, and protecting Karla is the most immediately dangerous. What other worries have your head aching lately?"

From:

furnaceface

//Same as usual, I suppose,// Jono murmured, sensing at least a hint of that amusement, and leaving Hannibal to it. //Same hurt, same guilt. Same worries. Little stronger than usual, is all. There's more of it than usual. S'been a bad... little while... for that.//

Bad little while? Bad lifetime for it, more like.

From:

sharp_as_knives

"Is it ever a good while?" Hannibal asked.

"You've agreed that asking Raven to wait will solve that issue, at least for a time. Put that from your mind as best you can." He continued the soothing rubbing. "Next, you can also put aside your thoughts of 1984. As you said yourself, this isn't Big Brother - you're only acting against those with active plans. What is the next worry?"

From:

furnaceface

//Nightmares, same as always, I suppose,// Jono replied. //Faces when I close my eyes. Too many damn lifetimes, moments that ought to be well and truly set apart, all bleeding into one another. Even when I'm not tapping myself to empty, I try not to sleep, you know.//

From:

sharp_as_knives

"Yes, I know." Hannibal shook his head. "I will do what I can to calm your mind and relax you, and you are welcome to stay, as I've told you before. Beyond that...would it help to speak of them?"

From:

furnaceface

//It... might, if you care to hear any of it. I've got plenty to pick from, at any rate... Weapon X, Fortress X... a lot of bloody places with X in the name, really...//

He wrinkled his nose a little bit.

//Coming to hate that sodding letter.//

From:

sharp_as_knives

"In that case, I promise not to give you any treasure maps," Hannibal said, smiling. He wiped his hands on his napkin, then settled one on Jono's shoulder as he went back to eating. "Tell me anything you like."

From:

furnaceface

//Hell if I know where to start,// Jono muttered. //It bleeds. Christ, does it bleed. There are moments when it's odd that people aren't calling me Starsmore, and moments when I'm proud to be the General and moments where I have difficulty bloody remembering it, because in my head I'm a scared kid breaking out of a sodding high-security prison, blowing the Ghost Rider straight back to Hell. I don't know anymore if human beings are normals or flatscans or landens or preaks. I don't know if I'm a hero or a villain, or some sad, sick, tired bastard somewhere in between. I have friends, in my head, who are alive and who are dead all at the same bloody time, and it takes me full minutes of raking my brain sometimes before I can remember which it actually is.//

He shrugged his shoulders a little, closed his eyes.

//I wake up at night, and my body is completely the wrong shape, I'm too small or too whole or there's too much of me missing. Sometimes it's a terrible bloody mess between the three.//

From:

sharp_as_knives

"Are there constants?" Hannibal asked. "Things that never change, even small ones?"

From:

furnaceface

//It's always cold.//

If not physically, then mentally, emotionally. There had always, always been something cold. Odd, for a man on fire. But there it was.

//My name stays the same. The joke of a family I left behind doesn't change. The pain... there's a constant, I suppose. The guilt... surprisingly, the guilt isn't a constant. Sometimes I'm too angry to loathe myself. Sometimes I'm too numb.//

From:

sharp_as_knives

Well, that wasn't much to hold to, was it?

"And what of things unique to this version of you? Things that are true for no other Jonothon Starsmore?"

From:

furnaceface

//... The people, I suppose. At least, the ones I met because of Fandom. There was no Fandom in Weapon X, no happy high school years during the end of the world as I knew it.//

He glanced toward his jacket, slung surprisingly neatly, for Jono, over the back of a nearby chair.

//There's a letter in one pocket... No other me has had that. S'a touchstone, of sorts. I don't have many of those.//

From:

sharp_as_knives

"The green one?" Hannibal asked, combing his fingers through Jono's hair. "Would you like to tell me about it?"

From:

furnaceface

Jono shifted his weight around a little more, leaning his head right up against Hannibal. He wasn't going to talk about that without some sort of physical grounding in the here and now. Didi might have been part of his history, but she was still a few lifetimes ago, now.

//She was my second girlfriend,// he shared, quietly. //Second girl I ever really loved. First who loved me, in spite of what I was. God, she was... I call a lot of people 'Sunshine,' fine, but she was... more. She owned it. If other people were sunshine, she was the day. And... we knew, going in, that it wasn't meant to be.//

It was, after all, not given to mortals to love the Endless.

//Didn't care. Didn't matter. Decided that it was worth the pain that was coming. And she's one of the few things in my life that I don't regret.//

From:

sharp_as_knives

"She sounds lovely. And as if she were very good for you," Hannibal observed. "What was her name?"

From:

furnaceface

//Didi,// Jono replied, opening his eyes and staring up at the ceiling. //When I knew her, when we were together, she was Didi. And...//

There was a twist of something in his chest, fire tying itself in knots. Something. A sudden realization that he couldn't breathe.

Maybe a desperate longing to be able to properly cry.

He had no idea, anymore.

//... And then one day, she wasn't Didi anymore. She was Death, and she went her way, and I stayed behind.//

From:

sharp_as_knives

"You don't mean that metaphorically, do you?"

Hannibal couldn't tell the specifics, maybe, but that distress was real, and he placed one hand on Jono's wrappings over where his heart would have been, keeping the other in his hair.